I don’t know why I feel so awfully depressed today. Honestly, I have 3 days left at this piece of shit school! But all I can do is sit here feeling sorry for myself, and for what? I don’t even fucking know! I’ve been listening to sad music all night and texting friends, trying to feel happy. The prospect of going home makes me happy. But the next three days, and Wednesday designated as a Friday, and one more class all make me upset. And man. I just wanna pack up and get out and get on to the holidays, where I can bake and feel happy and sleep in a big bed. 

But tonight I get to sit in bed, feeling sick, sad, and awful. I get to listen to sad songs, low-key music. And think back on everything I went through in high school to get here, and how I may or may not be throwing it away for a part time job and a shot at culinary school. Sometimes we have to follow our dreams, right? Right? I need someone to reassure me that everything going to work out, that I’m not sliding down the slope towards depression again. I can’t handle that.

Montclair put me in a bad state of mind.